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5 Things That Shouldn’t Define Your Self-esteem

Positive message written in a note pad

Sometimes it’s hard for us to truly love ourselves. One day we are incredibly happy with ourselves, and the next day we are sad or want to radically change ourselves and our whole life. There are many things that can affect our self-esteem. But most of them don’t define us as a person and shouldn’t be the basis of it.

Other People

Many of us have a bad habit of comparing ourselves to others. However, other people’s success or beauty shouldn’t be the reason for our low self-esteem. It’s important to understand that each person is different and it’s worth being proud and believing in yourself for at least that reason.

We can also listen to opinions and advice that destroy our self-esteem. Comments from a girlfriend that we have gained weight can make us feel fat, and words from a toxic partner that no one wants us can make us believe it.

The truth is, no one’s words or beliefs should determine your self-esteem. Besides, it’s impossible for absolutely everyone around you to like you. While we can’t control what other people think and do, we shouldn’t base our worth on something that depends entirely on them.


What we are interested in shouldn’t determine our self-esteem. Nor does it have to live up to the expectations of those around us. Our views and preferences will vary from person to person and will not directly affect our value as people. So do not feel embarrassed or guilty for the fact that they somehow do not conform to stereotypes or fashion. And even if you love gambling at a casino, you shouldn’t listen to those who blame you for this.


We feel a certain pressure from society to have a second half. We may be hinted at our age or look for flaws that make us lonely. But being single or having a partner does not define us as a person. It means we take more time to focus on ourselves and what we really want. While relationships can be truly important to us, we don’t need to make them the foundation of our self-esteem.


We may feel insecure about our chosen profession or income. We seem to be failures to ourselves, especially if we compare ourselves to other people. But these things should not determine our worth.

You can be a big entrepreneur with a decent bank account and still suffer from low self-esteem. And, conversely, with less, you can be happy and satisfied with yourself. And having no job is not an indicator that we’re not good enough – it’s just a time to find a new business and opportunities.

The Number of Friends

Some people think that the more friends they have, the higher their value. Unfortunately, this isn’t true. And self-esteem should not be conditioned by this fact. By the way, strong relationships with people are much more essential than the number of acquaintance

es. And thousands of subscribers on social networks can’t make us more important and valuable.

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